Atithi Devo Bhava! Kasab is God...

26/11 was a remarkable day in the Indian history. Terrorists came to India for an internship after undergoing an intensive training in Pakistan. They very well executed their training. As a mark of respect to the martyrs let’s wish a very happy 3^rd anniversary to the lone surviving terrorist in the battle - Ajmal Amir Kasab. The Indian Govt. has left no stones unturned to give a princely treatment to our country’s most favourite guest.

Firstly a special cell in Arthur Road jail worth Rs. 8 cr. was constructed just for him which was personally supervised by then home minister Jayant Patil. Another Rs 1.5 crore was spent on building a special prison ward inside J J Hospital. WTF!!! Our friend Mr. (then Union home minister) P Chidambaram too was personally monitoring the situation, particularly the security detail for Kasab. He was quoted as saying "Since we were able to catch Kasab alive, we were able to establish that he belonged to Pakistan. Given that, we are really not concerned about the cost.” Ya dude. Because you must not be knowing the pain of working hard and then paying taxes for safeguarding our friend from Pakistan. Athiti Devo Bhava!!!

And since our friend didn’t feel secure in the company of our Paandu Maamas, special Indo-Tibetan Border Police force was deployed for his security who coughs up a bill of around Rs 3.5 lakh per day. I am sure even our PM Mr. Manmohan Singh would be having cheaper security guards. And Oh ya how can I forget a secure chauffer-driver vehicle which incurs a cost of Rs. 1.5 cr.

Our guest is so secure that even if a rocket is launched nothing will happen to the cell where Kasab resides. Good care is taken in terms of food and medicines. Special arrangements of dry fruits and fruits are done during Ramzan fasting. If he falls ill, a team of specialist doctors is available for examining him on a daily basis to ensured that he maintains good health.

So friends lets join our hands and work hard so that we can earn more money and pay more taxes to the Indian Govt. as our Govt. is poor and cant keep up with the demands of our guests. So we need to contribute in the form of taxes. Tally-Ho

The Ultimate Fart Machine

The day when Sheru blurted out...

He is an ultimate foodie and that too a super fan of chicken. One day me and my friend planned to make butter chicken as my parents were out of town. Sheru smelled the chicken from distance and rushed towards us shooting us an expecting look for the chicken. He totally forgot that he had a stomach upset due to overeating the previous day.

So we decided that our silly friend Sheru is not gonna get a single chicken piece from our share. But being really good at making sulking faces (emotional blackmailing), he managed to get what he wanted - a king-size share of the butter chicken dish. So after a bout of overeating again he went off to sleep like a kumbhakaran. 

And while in deep sleep...suddenly he farted...and boy it was so loud that he got up from his slumber and got scared to death from his own fart. And when he realised his blunder, this was his embarrassed look on his face (see right). Ha ha ha...

Meet chota packet bada dhamaka

Hi All. Allow me the pleasure of introducing my friend - Sheru. This is one guy who is cute, charming, adorable, naughty, and a prankster. He talks, emotes and can dance like any normal humanbeing. Here is what he has to say about himself:

"bbfvdguyretg;lghfdsdfsasjhasgdkjhyuyrsjdbfuhystgdhvsfhsdf hgfjhgasdaffcdsjikughfbvnmbnfvg"

That's him trying to type his own story :) Since you are unable to decode what he is trying to say, he says:

"Growlllll... Hi my fans (talk about modesty). I am Sheru. I love eating chicken (dat's all he dreams about). I have a girlfriend & a boyfriend. Before you take me wrong about my sexuality, I am straight and have a girlfriend too who can get a li'l boring with her barking sometimes as she is a bulldog breed ka bitch. I am just good friends with my boyfriend & girlfriend (diplomacy!!! right?). I prefer referring to them like that as they have very lousy names. My best friends are Chantu & Bantu. I also befriended a baby cow 'Spiky'. Anyways I am signing off now. See you next time. Hasta La Vista sweeties. Growllll...

The Ultimate Poem of Love

I tried my hand for the first time in writing a poem and didnt know I was so good at it. I am so happy to share it with you.

The hypothetical situation is that I am in love with this guy who is going away from me only to be united by time.

Life is a mysterious game,

Because it never stays the same.

Today destiny is slipping away my life and love,

From my hand like an ill-fitted glove.

I pray to the almighty,

For his safety and security.

May you always be full of life and stay safe,

I will be your Kareena, you be my Saif.

Hope you liked it. Do let me know your views on this :)

Not-so Fitness Freak Ganesha

A very cute joke shared by my friend Sneha which I wanted to share with my readers. See below:

Parvarti: Gampu baby, you should start gymming now

Ganpati: I'm not fat Mom, I'm pleasantly plump

Parvati: Ya, but you could be fitter like your dad (Shiva)

Ganpati: Not again Mom! and its ok...I charm people anyway

Parvati: That you do, honey!Love you baby

Ganpati: Love you too Mom. Miss me for 10 days...I am off for a food festival, interacting with friends, fans and follwers! And Oh ya Mom...If Hanuman comes with another gym membership offer for me, tell him 'NOT INTERESTED'

GANPATI BAPPA MORYA!!!

P.S. Thanks Sneha!!!