Dumb Celebrity Quotes

The other day i was surfing the net and got this idea of putting together some idiotic quotes by famous personalities. It made me feel better and realise that i had many friends who do not make sense like me :). Pesh hai aapki khidmat mein:

• Dan Quayle (former U.S. Vice-President):

1. "The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
2. "It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it"

• Arnold Shwarzenegger (Actor/Governer of California): "I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman"
• Christina Aguilera (Singer): "So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?"
• Jessica Simpson (singer/actress):

1. "I'm not anorexic. I'm from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I've never heard of one. And that includes me."
2. During her Geography class, she was asked about the names of the continents, and her reply was A-E-I-O-U!".

• Bob Dole (Republican presidential candidate): "The internet is a great way to get on the net"
• Bill Peterson (Florida State football coach): "You guys, line up alphabetically by height"
• Greg Norman (Golfer): "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father"
• Yogi Berra (Baseball player): "Predictions are difficult. Especially about the future"
• Chuck Nevitt (North Carolina State basketball player): "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt"
• Winston Bennett (University of Kentucky basketball forward): I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body
• Keppel Enderbery (Former Australian cabinet minister): Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas
• Lou Duva (veteran boxing trainer): He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is
• Mickey Rivers (baseball player): Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding
• Paris Hilton (hotel heiress): "Wal-Mart... do they like make walls there?"
• Donald Rumsfeld (former US Defense Secretary): Once during a press conference, he said: "Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns - the ones we don't know we don't know."

There is a chance that you might be able to answer a Phoenix's riddle, but this Rumsfeld quote, no way!

• Namrata Shirodkar (Bollywood actress): Her answer at the 1993 Miss Universe contest to a question asked by Jackie Chan - "I would not want to live forever because I don't believe that one can live forever. And so, I don't think I would want to live forever

Gods of SEX - The New Religion

It was a bad week for sleazy godmen. Many popular so-called and dhongi swamijis were exposed and quite literally with disgusting stories that have come to light.

Case 1:

One such recent case that took away the major piece of the cake was that of Swami Nityananda who was caught in a compromising position with a south indian actress Ranjitha. This spiritual guru's sex tape was aired on SUN TV on 2nd March giving rise to a major panga and danga in South.

Case 2:

Second story revolves around Anup Kumar Sahai alias Swamiji who kidnapped a 25 yr old girl in Ghaziabad after she rejected his marriage proposal। The moron started line marofying on Priyanka Srivastava (an MBA graduate pursuing a PhD) and wanted to marry her despite the fact that he has a wife and a seven-year-old daughter. Wow!!!! what a joke is happening out here? When Priyanka and her family rejected the psycho's proposal, he offered them Rs 1 crore. Jab tabhi bhi nahi maane (how filmy), he gave dhamki and all saying he would kidnap the girl and marry her forcibly. And jiska darr tha wahi hua. He abducted the girl on February 15 (just a day after valentine's day. Shiv sena manoos jaago. Kaahi kara hi mulgi saathi). But our great police filed the case for this only on 6th March.

Case 3:

Another case that came into the open involved a pimp guru and a self-styled godman of Chitrakoot, Us mahaan aatma ka name is Shiv Murat Dwivedi who earned his money from real estate, money-lending, prostitution, donations from foreign countries and special religious programmes। He operated four accounts in Delhi (inspite of slogging for 12 hrs decently, we are left with no money in our one and only account. wat a life). He used to handle his prostitution business in Delhi, and the NCR. He has forced many girls (some volunteered on their own while majority of them were from vulnerable background) into sickening flesh trade.

Till now i thought that swamijis are were supposed to abstain from all these worldly pleasures!!! Has this rule become just on-papers nowadays?

Cartoons - Part 1

Five Point Everyone

Today we had planned to meet Anupama (our ex-TL in Capgemini) since we were getting together after a very long time. The day in office went off well with not much work pressure and a short shopping trip to R City mall nearby for buying gifts for Asha’s baby shower ceremony and, Ramya and Shraddha’s birthday gifts. Had fun. Came back and tried to finish the pending work ASAP and caught with some office friends who were complaining that I hadn’t met them for a long time.

We had decided to meet Anupama at 6.15 sharp IST (we have a record of making Anupama wait for minimum half an hour). But living up to the German Team’s reputation (that’s what she calls us :) ), we finally met her at 6.45 at Chillies in Powai. Interesting place and you feel as if you are in some café in US. If you have holes in your wallet this place is a strict no-no for you. Bahut bada bill fata.

Now the actual session started. THE BITCHING SESSION which we girls enjoy the most. The session started with Asha opening her gift. The girls did some ooh-aahs and cho-chweet noises looking at the gift. Then the topic of discussion drifted to the morons pulling my leg which they usually do :).

We kept on talking with topics changing every 10 minutes and with sumptuous food for our company. We had ordered some really interesting stuffs like Texas Cheese fries, Pasta, Ice-cream with brownie, cheese cake and stuffs. Yummyyyyy…

Some more leg pulling continued (as usual I was the bakra) and then we decided to leave as I had to take 10.30 bus back home. Thus the day ended on a very happy note and all five of us had fun. Ok I am off to sleep now. Gudnight.zzzzzzz…

3 + 1 Idiots!!!

Background
Once upon a time there lived Jippu, fawdi, DJ and Shaani (the plus 1 is for Shaani as she is as gud as non-existent in the group), the four hopelessly happening buddies of the BMS 2004-05 batch of Vivek College.

Pic 1: Fawdi and DJ were infamously famous for cracking sad and horrible jokes that could make your ears bleed if you tolerated them for long. Pic 2: It was obvious that the four whackos would end up doing projects together. Actually Shaani did the major part with jippu contributing in a bit and fawdi and DJ adding entertainment factor as usual. With just 1 ½ involvement out of four, the project was bound to get delayed usually.

Jippu and fawdi had pet names – Ganpati ke choohe. Anup had bestowed upon this pet names to fawdi and jippu on Ganesh Chathurti. Also fawdi and DJ were the two safed kabootars urff Doves :) in the group.

Pic 3: in the group, jippu and fawdi were very close to each other and the same was with DJ and shaani.

Also, fawdi had a major crush on Akhilesh (fawdi and DJ’s so-called basketball coach). But the crush faded away the moment fawdi happened to see Akhilesh scratching his butt :) Dirty boy. Lost a prospective girlfriend because of not taking bath.

Pic 4: Shaani was very famous amongst the group for pataofying more that 3 guys at the same time and make fawdi and DJ feel like losers. DJ was strictly told by her other buddies to keep her handsome brother away from Shaani’s eyesight.

Pic 5: Jippu, fawdi and DJ used to take the pleasure of bitching about shaani whenever she used to act irrationally. All this when Shaani wasn’t around obviously.Pic 6: Amongst the four nuts, Shaani, Jippu, fawdi and DJ were padhakoo in the same order. Which meant Shaani and jippu’s notes were always up-to-date. And DJ and fawdi being big time last moment Notes Xerox-but-not-study types, used to end up planning and chalking out timetables and motivating each other to follow it which ultimately used to never work out. The best place for fawdi and DJ to decide on their timetables was the baakdaa at Goregaon Station.

Shaani we miss you yaar. It’s high time you stopped acting pricey :)